Raising a Gentleman with Good Manners

Even the best parents on earth sometimes wonder how to raise their black boys with traits such as good manners, responsibility, empathy and kindness. We all want our children to grow up to be kinder and more considerate of others and that’s going to happen only if you educate black boys from their young age. The best way you can do this is by setting a good example. Here are some tips to help you raise your future young men with positive traits that will lead to gentleman like behavior, especially if you are a black single mom.


Set your expectations right

Your son should learn a little more about manners with each step of his growing life. From the ages of 1 to 3 years you should teach your child to say “please” and “thank you.” By the time he is 5, you should start teaching him to help you clear table. You can’t teach a three year old child to look someone in the eye, but yes by the time he is 6, he should learn that. You should consider your son’s personality such as whether he is shy, quite or outgoing while teaching etiquette.



Compassion for others is an essential trait that you will need to teach your child to help him build self-respect and respect for others. Help your child learn perspective. Ask him how he feels in certain situations and also ask him what he thinks the other person is feeling. Communications like this will help him become considerate of others feeling.



Listening is an important skill helpful at all ages and stages of life. Teach your child to be a patient listener because others thoughts do matter.



Teach your child to make eye contact and smile. If there is a child sitting by himself, encourage your son to go and talk to him. Your son will learn social skills early on. He will also learn to figure out how other people are feeling.


Act now

Children and boys for that matter, have the tendency to forget requests to act responsibly within minutes. You can teach your son to do the tasks right away by rewarding them with nice and encouraging words. Since the memory center in boys develops little later than girls, you should teach your child to act responsibly right away. This will ensure memory requests match the action.


Table manners

Practice table manners and chivalry at home. For example help your son learn complimenting the cook, eating with mouth closed, burping quietly etc. This will develop confidence in your child since he will know what’s expected of him, regardless of whether he is in his friend’s house, at restaurant or in school. He will have an improved image and this will give him an edge over others.


Be a role model

Kids learn from their parents even while they are not attentively watching them. Behave the way you would like to see your son behave. Similarly, consider role models when selecting the people who will be involved on a day-to-day basis with your son.


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