Being a single black mom means you are the only most important and beloved figure in your young boy’s life. This means you are up for a tough challenge when the time comes to enforce the rules. In a traditional nuclear family, it’s the male parent who majorly assumes the role of disciplinarian; I guess we are all familiar with the words ‘You wait till your dad gets home’ when a child’s been naughty. But you as a sole care giver will have to dish out both punishments and the kissing.
Most moms often struggle with the topic of discipline. They wonder if what they are doing is right. As a single mom you are obviously facing many challenges that two-parent families don’t face. But with a positive and determined perspective you can equip yourself with skills needed to correct your child’s negative behaviour. Here are some practical tips to help you teach positive discipline to your black boys.
Early to bed
If you put your kids early to bed, they will have a full sleep of 9 to 10 hours which is essential for their developing brain and body. Moreover you will also experience them to be more pliable and cooperative the next day. But if they don’t get enough sleep, they may react poorly to even the smallest things. You also get some extra time which you can use before you go to bed.
Using the same discipline technique over and over will lose its effectiveness. Try different things, for example you can put away toy and tell your kids that they have to earn it back with good behaviour. However place the toy where your kids will be able to see it so they can be reminded.
Kids often listen better to others and having someone with their best interest at heart can really be helpful. Do you have any friends and relatives that your boy looks up to and admire? If you do, by all means get their assistance on the occasions when it might seem like you are hitting your head to a brick wall.
As a single mom you may never find enough time in the day. Sometimes you may find yourself snapping at your kids or react suddenly without patience. It is important to be aware of this and know that some of word we utter in anger can cause lasting psychological damage. However, if the guilty feeling gives you sleepless nights, remember that you are bound to make mistakes whether you are in a traditional nuclear family set up or indeed when you are the only one in the house to handle every detail. Learn to forgive yourself.
Follow your instinct
You will find enough opinion flowing in from people around you about how to discipline your boys. However since it’s about your kids and your life, trust your inner self and do what you feel is right for you and more importantly in his best interest.
Positively disciplining your black boys doesn’t mean you are going to love them any less. In fact you are not disciplining them to make your day better, but because they need it.