More than eight million women are single moms in America, according to the US Census Bureau. Single moms of boys have additional burden and being a black mom doesn’t make the job any easier. Peggy Drexler, a research psychologist at the Cornell University’s Weill Medical College proved through her decade of research that boys raised by single moms are as likely to develop into happy adults as the boys raised in households with both a mother and a father.
The biggest challenge often a single mom faces, is about presenting a positive role model for their boys to look up to and learn from. Though it’s not easy, but it’s not complicated either to raise happy, healthy and well adjusted sons. However becoming a role model to your black boys, of course, often means taking a closer and honest look at your own life. Here are 7 tips for you that will help you become a good role model for your black boys.
Be your best
Regardless of whether you know this or not, your boys pay close attention to everything you say or do. They imitate your words and actions. So be your best and know that children and for that matter boys are easily influenced.
Take care of yourself
Presenting a positive role model starts with taking a good care if yourself, such as having enough sleep, following a dedicated workout regime (that is if you can find the time), eating healthy food, and managing negative emotions without lashing out.
I am sure you won’t like to see your son grow-up into flaky kid who lets people down. Make sure you present yourself a model of dependability.
Evaluate your own behaviour to let your son know what’s right and what’s not
Strike a conversation with your child by saying things like – Today I felt so angry, I think I need to look at how I handle conflicts with others or I have observed, I have been watching too much of T.V. It’s a good thing to evaluate your behaviour and let your boy see and hear you doing it.
Show your child what loyalty means through examples like showing up to help a friend in a time of need.
As children grow old, they push for more freedom and that’s only natural. Give your boy the space he needs but without forgetting that you are a parent and it’s your responsibility to be attentive and make sure your boy is in the right company, even if that annoys your child.
As a single black mom, you may be hesitant to enforce consequences when your son breaks the rule. But consistency is important to help your son grow to be a responsible man. If he does something unacceptable, you must implement appropriate consequence.